How to Prepare Your Loved Ones for the Truth

You know you have a problem.  You have probably known for a while but didn’t want to admit it.  Maybe you read an article.  Maybe you witnessed someone else confess their addiction.  Maybe you are finally fed up with the cycle of addiction and are ready to get out.  What do you do now?  Do you just blurt it out over dinner?  Do you hint at it for a while before you confess?  Is there a good way to confess your addiction to your loved ones?  I hope to answer all of these questions in this article.  

If you have been around the addiction for awhile you probably already know what I’m about to tell you.  There is no “good” time to confess and it will hurt, both you and your loved ones.  You need to know this going into it but you also need to know that you will never get free of your addiction until you do.  Once you confess you will feel free, you will be able to breathe again, you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror again.  Now with that being said, there are some things you can do to increase your chances of having a positive confession experience.  

Talk to God

Prayer is a huge part of reaching sobriety.  Talking to God about your addiction, your fears, and asking Him for strength should not be overlooked.  In fact it should be the first place you go.  Prayer does so much more for us than we might think.  Knowing that our God hears us and only wants the best for us is powerful.  In my experience, it is in my prayer life that I realize that although what I have to do might be painful it is the right thing to do.

Talk to a friend

Now I’m not just talking about any friend.  A best friend would be ideal.  Find someone who can be trusted not only with your secret but someone who will also lift you up in prayer.  Practice what you are going to say.  Ask them for advice.  See if something sounds bad or if there is a better way to say certain things.  Ask them for any follow up questions that your loved ones might ask.  It is my experience that confiding in a friend like this only opens up more intimacy between you two and you might be surprised what they confess back to you.   

Talk to yourself

This might seem silly but before you break the news to your loved ones rehearse what you are going to say.  Tell yourself you can do it.  Reassure yourself that this is the right thing to do.  Know that there is peace on the other side of this storm.   

There are some other things that you should think about as well.  

If you can help it don’t do this on a birthday or anniversary.  It could sour that day for some time to come.  

Make sure you have privacy.  

Frame this conversation with importance.  Tell them you have something important to talk to them about before blurting out your confession.  

Allow time for them to think and be angry.  Don’t rush them to talk to you about it.  It might take days for them to be able to talk about it.  

Confessions of this magnitude can be messy and unpredictable.  You will have more resources here to help you get through this process and then know what to do next but like I said they can be messy and you and your loved ones will probably need someone to talk to after.  Please feel free to reach out to us here at Overcome.  

Chris@strongchurch.org or Jack@strongchurch.org.

Chris Krotz is the pulpit minister for the Carlisle Church of Christ in Pennsylvania and a graduate of Bear Valley Bible Institute of Denver. Chris is passionate about teaching God’s Word and making it apply to everyday life. Along with Jack Dodgen, Chris co-founded Strong Church in 2013.

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